Da Vinci Code & Man-eating Bears

I am officially an ex-employee of Bowie High School, as of yesterday. That feels weird. (long pause)

Well, anyway, time to move forward, right? For those of you who do not know, I will resume doctoral studies in literature at the University of Dallas this fall. Actually, this blog was created with the intention of sharing my experiences in grad school with all my friends in cyberspace. More about that later...

We finally saw "The DaVinci Code" yesterday (and neither of us had read the book, so it was kind of a surprise). Of course, I'd heard the buzz about the book - as well as some of the controversy. I was a bit shocked that I actually liked the movie and felt that it was pretty decent Hollywood entertainment, with a little added bonus of metaphysics, history, and far-fetched religous speculation. I suppose what I'd like to say is that I'm also quite surprised that certain Christian groups are so worked up about it. I don't want to give away the plot for those who haven't seen it, but I guess the big question that the movie raises is this: Could Jesus have been married? And that question begs this other question: If Jesus had been married, would that change anything about the way we view him? I've been thinking about it, and I really don't see how it does. It's not like the bible says "Jesus was NOT married!" The bible simply doesn't ever address that question. So what's the big freaking deal? I wish someone would explain what is so dangerous or wrong about asking this kind of question.

Well, you mull that over and get back with me about it. I'm checking out for a couple of weeks for vacation, and if I'm not devoured by hungry bears while sleeping in my tent, I'm sure I'll have at least one interesting story to share from our travels. Until then, keep it real! Goose-fraba.

Finals week

Well, this is it. Only 4 more days until the school year is over, and if all goes the way I want it to, only 4 more days left of my public school teaching career. I have a profound yearning to bitch and moan about how sucky teaching usually is, or how I feel so terribly used and degraded most days, and so forth, blah blah blah. I could also start complaining about the other crappy things in the world, both locally (LET'S DEFOREST AND POLLUTE AUSTIN... WOO HOO!) and globally (LET'S NEVER STOP GOING TO WAR... YAY!!!), but instead I'm going to focus this blog on something positive for a change.

So, I've decided that it's time to bask in the glow of a warm fuzzy, or a kudo, or a happy thought. I'm looking around, trying to find something good in life that I can express my gratitude for, excluding the obvious alcholic beverages and sleep. And you know what I've decided? Not enough is said about frozen waffles. Think about it. They are plentiful, cheap, and tasty. Many of them are fortified with an unusual number of essential vitamins and minerals, and are an important part of a healthy, balanced diet. They are easy to cook and easy to eat, even if you wear dentures. They taste great with just butter, or with syrup, honey, or jam - or, if you are extremely bold - even molasses. They contain useful fiber, they come in a variety of fun shapes and sizes, including the standard square or the interesting circle. They can be stored for long periods of time in a simple freezing unit, and even if they accrue icicles from over freezing, they are still edible, which is more than you can say for other frozen treats such as ice cream, ice milk, or ice cream bars. There is really nothing so magically, fantastically syrupliscious, no tasty, pastry-ish treat as perfect and as neat than the fabulous, grabulous, succulent frozen waffle!

So, let's all say three cheers for frozen waffles. Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! When the world drops a steaming pile of hooey on your plate, don't despair! Scrape it off, wash the plate, and make some frozen waffles!

the Bush smirk

This will be a short post. I am pissed off at my students today because they won't shut up while I'm trying to teach them something. I can't think of another job where you go to school for 4 years - or more if you have a graduate degree - and gain professional credentials for your career - and then when you go to work each day you are insulted and disrespected - even humiliated at times - by people half your age and with twice the ignorance. It truly is maddening.

Anyway, I was looking at the BBC news page during my off-period and I came across a picture of George Bush smirking at reporters during a press conference. I think that this is one of the things that I hate most about our president. It doesn't matter what the subject is, whether it's the crummy economy, ridiculous gas prices, or the increasing carnage in Iraq, he always speaks with a smirk on his face. I've even seen him do it when he is discussing troops killed in combat - like he's laughing at the whole situation or something. I wonder if we'll ever see dignity return to the Oval Office again?

De-vo

At the risk of enraging some of my religious friends and family, I want to take a minute to explain the picture I have posted at the top right of my blog under "my profile." Apparently it has disturbed more than one reader, and possibly scared other readers "shizless." Have no fear! Despite its ominous appearance, it is only Booji Boy (prounounced "boogie boy") - or, Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo wearing a baby mask.

Why do I have this picture where my picture should be? Hmmm... good question. I guess I like it better than my own face, and I think it also stands for something that I am quite interested in right now--Devo. Devo, of course, was that weird post-punk synth group that became famous in the early 80's with that silly song "Whip It." I was in high school back then, and I was a huge fan of Devo, but I must admit that I was pretty ignorant about what they stood for and what they were trying to do with their music, which they saw as a kind of post-modern art form. I remember even going to my mom (which was crazy if you knew my mom!) and asking her the meaning of some cryptic Devo lyrics. I don't think she was much help other than embarassingly explaining the meaning of the word "prophylactics" to me. Ack. Well, anyway, if you want to know the complete truth behind Devo and what they stood (stand?) for, the best idea is to rent the video "Devo- the Complete Truth About De-Evolution," turn on the audio commentary in the special features, and watch the entire thing. If you want to hear my interpretation of Devo and why they are important to me, keep reading...

The fundamental idea behind Devo is that humans are not really evolving, like Darwin suggested. Darwin thought that species adapt and change over time, getting "better" as they go along because of the survival of the fittest. This explains why our ancestors were only apes, while we are humans in all our glory. Devo believed the opposite - that humans are devolving... that is, getting "worse." Why? Well, it's because our ancestors were not nice, happy, normal apes. No. They were insane brain-eating cannibalistic apes with messed up genes. This, to Devo, explains why it is that we, as a species, are so totally wack, and seem to make the same horrible mistakes generation after generation after generation. You know, prejudice, hatred, murder, rape, war, the invention of ping pong, etc.

Devo, it turns out, was just being playful in that they felt that this explanation of reality was just as plausible as any other, including the (gulp!) Christian version of the "fall of man" into sin, and so forth. They were all about using humor, satire, sarcasm and wit to get people to think a little bit, while they are laughing and tapping their toes to a nice beat. This, I think, is why I admire them so much and why I am obsessed with them right now.

Devo arose during the time of Reagan's ascension into the political arena, and they foresaw the end of democracy as we know it and the resultant rise of "Corpocracy." They saw America as increasingly becoming a wasteland devoid of individualism and thought, as corporations market nonsensical and unnecessary products to weak-minded and sheeplike individuals through catchy logos and deceptive practices. Ultimately, this will bring about America's doom. So, essentially, Devo was an apocalyptic band with a cynical message - that America is fake and that people are so easily duped into living fake lives that they can't even recognize it. And, like I mentioned previously, this is mixed with a darkly comical worldview in which they see the human race as a doomed bunch of insane apes with cannibalistic forefathers.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I look at the headlines every day. Of course, I have to read the BBC.com headlines, because 9/10 of the atrocities happening around the world somehow don't make it into our newspapers around these parts. We instead are bombarded with the important "news" of crucial events in world history like Britney Spears' pregnancy, Brad Pitt's divorce, and whether or not Nick and Jessica will get back together. Oh, and we also have to be kept up on which one of the American Idol contestants has been kicked off this week!

Devo has the good sense to show us what we have become, and they also have cool hats. Those aren't flower pots, by the way - they are "energy domes." You can buy one, if you like, at www.clubdevo.com